What is Best Society? This is the question Post asks her readers to think about upon beginning her book. Obviously, before one attempts to learn how to become a member of "best society," one must define exactly what membership in such a society entails. In her initial paragraph, Post makes a distinction between American society and society "abroad," by which, we can infer from her mention of royalty and courts, she means in Western Europe:
Our own Best Society is represented by social groups which have had, since this is America, widest rather than longest association with old world cultivation. Cultivation is always the basic attribute of Best Society, much as we hear in this country of an "Aristocracy of wealth."
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The most advertised commodity is not always intrinsically the best, but is sometimes merely the product of a company with plenty of money to spend on advertising. In the same way, money brings certain people before the public—sometimes they are persons of "quality," quite as often the so-called "society leaders" featured in the public press do not belong to good society at all, in spite of their many published photographs and the energies of their press-agents. Or possibly they do belong to "smart" society; but if too much advertised, instead of being the "queens" they seem, they might more accurately be classified as the court jesters of to-day.
The point that Post makes in this chapter is that persons who are part of Best Society are not flashy about their upbringing, privilege, wealth, or position. Instead, they work on using their privilege and position to cultivate knowledge about the world, improve their interpersonal relationships, and learn to be intristically considerate of others.
I would also argue in favor of owning your privilege. This does not mean you have to give away all of your money and live in a box, wearing a burlap sack and eating nothing but oatmeal for the rest of your natural life. It doesn't mean you should turn down acceptance to a well-regarded university because you feel guilty about it.
People with privilege, however, do have the responsibility to identify it as such. If you were born white and into a wealthy family, accept it. Check your assumptions at the door and educate yourself on how you are being treated differently based on the color of your skin, the name you use, and the people with whom you associate yourself. It is not the responsibility of people without privilege to educate you.
At the end of this brief chapter, Post leaves us with her definition of Best Society:
Best Society is not a fellowship of the wealthy, nor does it seek to exclude those who are not of exalted birth; but it is an association of gentle-folk, of which good form in speech, charm of manner, knowledge of the social amenities, and instinctive consideration for the feelings of others, are the credentials by which society the world over recognizes its chosen members.
What we can take from this is that becoming a part of Best Society or, as this blog chooses to define it, being a butch gentleman, has everything to do with your attitude and comportment. It does not mean being showy with your money or position, but it does mean making a conscious effort to continuously better yourself quietly.
A few questions for my dear readers:
What is your definition of "Best Society?" How would you describe the experiences, attitudes, and behaviors of the members of that society?
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